


Initiative

by PennamePersona



Series: The Good, The Bad, & The Dirty [1]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bounty Hunter Kravitz, Empath Kravitz, M/M, Third dates, again sorta, not exactly but close enough, slight angst, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-31
Updated: 2017-07-31
Packaged: 2018-12-09 09:38:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11666499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PennamePersona/pseuds/PennamePersona
Summary: First Date: Good Enough For A SecondSecond Date: Good Enough For A ThirdThird Date: Attempted Homicide Followed By A Capture, Actual Homicide, And Then Another Datea.k.a. The Taako Story





	Initiative

**Author's Note:**

> this is something that's been in my drafts for a while, half-written, and i'd like to try and make a Thing out of it! hope y'all like it

It's when his hot as fuck date presses something against his leg, with all the subtlety in the world, that Taako realizes he's in for it.  
  
Unfortunately, that "something" isn't his foot or his dick or whatever; it's a fucking knife.  
  
Because, apparently, Taako can't have a nice date to save his life. Either that or good old 'Cretia lied and he's never actually "off the clock" and this is another part of his shitty job.  
  
Regardless, Taako's just about ready to stab a bitch, if he isn't the bitch who gets stabbed first, which is looking more and more possible by the moment.  
  
"Well damn, my dude," Taako says, more on autopilot than because he's actually got something clever on the tip of his tongue. "I knew you were eager, but I didn't think you were that happy to see me."  
  
Against all the odds which are generally stacked quite liberally against Taako, his date smiles.  
  
"If only you knew," His date says.   
  
Taako leans forward, very consciously ignoring the cold metal pressed against his thigh.   
  
"Why don't you tell me, then, hot stuff?" He purrs, leaning his head on a fist. That's enough to earn a laugh, though the knife doesn't move.  
  
"Maybe I will," Knife Boy says, and then the knife presses into Taako's thigh just enough to sting, which causes a whole string of events that start with Taako flicking a finger to cast Ray of Frost and culminate in Taako getting kicked out of a nice restaurant for probably the billionth time in his life.  
  
It's when he's catching his breath, having booked it out of the place and traipsed down enough alleyways and made enough sudden turns that he doesn't even know where he is, anymore, that he hears it.  
  
"Making my job easier, aren't you?"  
  
Well, fuck. Taako starts laughing at this point, too far gone for it to even matter, wondering if he was always meant to have gaps in his memories as he died, surrounded by no one but the man he was having a mildly successful third date with. Not such a bad way to go, really, with a bit of eye candy around, even if he sounded ridiculous with the obviously fake accent -   
  
"Holy shit, my man," Taako says, laughing even harder at his sudden realization. "When were you gonna to tell me that you only wanted me for my corpse?"  
  
"I thought I made that clear enough," His (definitely former) date says, in that stupid attempt at a cockney accent.  
  
"Not this time, you didn't," Taako says, drawing himself up to his full height. "Taako doesn't appreciate being played."  
  
This reasonably badass (in Taako's opinion) line is quickly followed by an explosion of Magic Missiles, the aftermath of which Taako most definitely does not stick around to see.  
  
He makes it home in reasonable time, not followed by anyone (to his admittedly limited knowledge, since he was fuckin' booking it, not bothering to look back, just in case Mr. Skull Man really was coming up behind), and slams the door shut, loudly enough that it probably wakes up Magnus and Merle, which Taako is hard-pressed to give half a fuck about.  
  
He locks the door with shaking fingers, and when the floorboard creaks behind him, he turns, expecting to see Magnus' confused face.  
  
Instead, he's faced with a gorgeous man in a skull mask.  
  
"Oh, for fuck's sake," Taako cries, throwing his arms up in the air. "I don't suppose you could just, I don't know, leave me the hell alone? I thought I was a pretty good date, all things considered!"  
  
"This is not about that," The man says, coming up short, like Taako's actually thrown him for a loop. "I thought you knew why I was here."  
  
"Well obviously I do now," Taako says, pointedly not letting his eyes flick to the point beyond the other man's shoulder. "You can drop the stupid accent, by the way. I know who you are."  
  
"Do you?" His wannabe killer asks, a smirk spreading across his (stupidly handsome) face, just as Magnus brings a chair down over his head, and he collapses.  
  
"I'm afraid so, Kravitz," Taako says, leaning over the unconscious body of his date and assassin. "And too bad for you that I do."  
  
There's a beat of silence, and then Magnus clears his throat.  
  
"Real quick, Taako," He says. "But, um, what the fuck is going on here?"  
  
"Remember that guy who tried to kill us on our last mission?" Taako asks, looking up at Magnus, who nods. "And then remember that guy I went on a couple dates with?"  
  
Magnus starts nodding again, then stops, realization dawning on his face, quickly followed by a vague disgust.  
  
"Please tell me you didn't sleep with the guy who wants us dead," Magnus says. "I don't care if it's true, just tell me you didn't."  
  
"Not yet," Taako says, looking back down at Kravtiz. "But I wouldn't put it off the list of possibilities for now."  
  
"How did you even get into this situation?" Magnus asks, pointedly ignoring the mild threat of Taako fucking an assassin.  
  
"Well," Taako says, gesturing to his whole body as he drops his glamour. "Look at me."  
  
Magnus does. Pointedly.  
  
"I thought you were over that -" He starts, not judgmentally, which would be fine, but caringly, which is so very, very much worse.  
  
"I am, I am," Taako says, waving a hand and pulling the glamour back up. "But let's face it,stranger things have happened than me fucking the guy out to kill me."  
  
"Us," Magnus says, absently, pulling out a rope from fuck knows where and starting to tie Kravitz up. "We should call the Director."  
  
"Lucretia," Taako corrects, and Magnus winces. "And I'll deal with this on my own."  
  
"Taako," Magnus says, still so gently, which isn't unusual for Magnus, but it still gets to Taako far more than he ever feels like admitting.  
  
"Magnus," Taako says, mockingly, trying to ignore the clenching of his heart as he does so. Magnus just frowns.  
  
"Please, buddy," He says, and Taako grabs up the Kravitz package on the floor with a mage hand and walks into his room without another word.  


* * *

  
  
When Kravitz wakes up, he's got the best and worst view of his life.  
  
He can see his captor (and how did he let that happen, how did it happen, anyway, Taako is known for avoiding his teammates, he shouldn't have had help) and despite having been on three dates with him for reasons he wants to be entirely professional, he's never felt anything towards Taako more intense than lust, not in any important way - or so he would have been sure of before now.  
  
There's been a passing curiosity, too, and that curiosity is suddenly pushed to the top of Kravitz's priorities, because Taako - who Kravtiz was told in no uncertain terms to track down and bring in for questioning, because even Kravitz wouldn't be able to permanently subdue him, he's so unpredictable - is crying.  
  
Quietly.  
  
Taako, wanted for the murder of forty people on the word of their mourning relatives, is weeping so gently that Kravtiz wouldn't have noticed if he wasn't carefully attuned to emotions. He felt that sadness before he saw it, clear and clean and uncomplicated.  
  
Taako, mass murderer in only one incident and hero in every other, because Kravitz looked at that damn file and knew something wasn't right, investigated on his own, and unpredictable doesn't even begin to sum up this man, is so bone deep lonely that Kravtiz can't stand it.  
  
"Your teammates are right out there," Kravitz says, and Taako jumps, the surprised party tonight for the first time Kravitz has ever seen. "Why don't you go to them?"  
  
"What are you talking about, my man?" Taako asks, making no attempt to cover up his tears, which seems odd.  
  
"You're crying," Kravitz says. (I don't understand why, he doesn't say.) "They're your team, your family. Why don't you go to them?"  
  
"You -" Taako seems completely lost for words, which amazes Kravitz, since it's been an effort previously to get him to shut up long enough for Kravitz to try and seduce him into comfort.  
  
"What?" Kravitz asks.  
  
"You can see through my glamour," Taako says, and he looks...shattered.  
  
"You wear a glamour?" Kravitz asks. "Why?"  
  
"Long story that I'm not telling someone who wants me dead," Taako says, flatly, and it's that flatness that really clues Kravitz in.  
  
He remembers the Taako he first tried to kill.  
  
He remembers the Taako from their first and second dates.  
  
He sees this man, now, remembers the distinction between him and the smirking elf he sat across from at dinner, the confident wizard who shot spells at him while running, and knows that the person he was introduced to was someone else entirely.  
  
"What happened to you?" Kravitz asks, trying to scoot up in his bindings for comfort's sake.  
  
"No," Taako says, angry now, and yet not, because Kravtiz can feel the thousand thousand things running through Taako at this moment, and the encompassing emotion isn't the fury he's trying to channel - "I'm not having this conversation right now," -  
  
it's loss.  
  
Kravitz's bonds disappear. His book appears, and he doesn't spare a moment before grasping it, despite Taako's shout of surprise.  
  
The book flips to the right page immediately. Where there are usually neat lists of names, there are scrambled together, crossed out names all over, jumbled into such a mess that Kravitz can't make out a single one, except the three letter name written over every other:  
  
Lup.  
  
"Who is Lup?" Kravitz asks, and then the room is on fire.  
  
Kravitz is gone, body ashes, and then he's in the throne room of the Raven Queen, which is not usually where he arrives upon death of his mortal form.  
  
She says nothing, instead directly transmitting her desires to Kravitz's very soul.  
  
He understands.  
  
He doesn't know what the bounty group will do without their most prestigious member, but he imagines they will adjust. They'll have to; he has a new mission, now.  
  
Kravitz is a being made to understand both death and mourning, and it's the distinction there that's truly important, though never needed in the same way it is now.  
  
It is his duty to put the mourning to rest. Glamour Springs was never really the job related to Taako, not even close. There is so much more to Taako than one unexplained batch of deaths.  
  
And it's Kravitz's new purpose to help him lay all of that to rest.  


* * *

  
  
When Taako leaves the house he shares with Merle and Magnus that morning, he's expecting to see someone tall, dark, and handsome.  
  
What he isn't expecting is to find out that his blind date - who had given him that description in such a smooth, beautiful voice that filled Taako with certainty that he was getting laid for sure - is fucking Kravitz.  
  
Taako's first thought is that, well, he did tell Magnus that having sex with Kravitz isn't off the table, and damn if he doesn't want a distraction tonight.  
  
Tako's second thought is that he's pretty sure he did actually kill Kravtiz. Like, with fire. There were ashes and everything.  
  
What the fuck.  


 

"Hello, Taako," Says Kravitz, the dead man who won't die because apparently fucking Taako's life up even more is the Universe's New Big Thing.

 

"Wanna go back to my place?" Taako asks.

 

* * *

 

 

The next morning, when Kravtiz exits Taako's room, shirtless, and Taako follows, wearing nothing but underwear and a button-up too large for him, the only person who sees is Magnus Burnsides, who puts his head and his hands and groans.

 

Loudly.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments keep me writing!
> 
>  
> 
> [my tumblr](http://www.pennamepersona.tumblr.com)


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